


Touching the Ashes of Fallen Flowers

by DragonsPhoenix



Series: Lily Out of Water [6]
Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Jossverse
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-01-24
Updated: 2009-01-24
Packaged: 2018-09-13 20:16:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 10,747
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9140614
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DragonsPhoenix/pseuds/DragonsPhoenix
Summary: After Drusilla goes to far, the Council decide to kill both her and Angelus. Can Willow save them?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Song lyrics at the start of the story are from “When You're Gone” by Steve Strauss off of Powderhouse Road. Why, why has he not put out a second CD?
> 
> Thanks to Kat and Elementary Magpie for reviewing the “not quite a Catholic church” scene for me. Based on their excellent advice, that scene got moved to the hospital. Any remaining mistakes are, of course, my own and shame on me for not listening to good advice.
> 
> Post of an old story. With rumors about LJ possibly going belly up, I'm deciding what to save.

And the bells toll out a warning  
That the sun will rise without you  
They are ringing in the morning  
Sadly singing  
In the garden  
When you’re gone

\---

A skeleton rose from its sepulchral seat, its furious fingers wrapping themselves around Angel’s throat, choking, choking, choking but he didn't feel it. Nobody ever noticed when the skeletons misbehaved. A stern stare sent it scurrying back its imprisoning crypt-coffin-chair.

“Angel,” I said as I wrapped my arms around him, checking to make sure the skeleton hadn't hurt him. “Come feed with me tonight.”

He froze under me, as cold as ice and as hard as steel. “Drusilla.” He wrenched himself out of my arms. “Shh,” he hushed as he came back to me. “Don’t pout.”

“My poor Angel, won’t you come feed with me?” Miss Edith whispered, whispered, whispered, showing me what he’d say. Showing me he was leaving me behind.

“Not tonight. I’m busy.” Angel was almost always too busy to play with me ever since Spike had left. “I’ll grab something quick and then get down to business. You go find something for yourself. Take your time and make a night of it. I’ll see you later.” Fleeter than dappled dreams, he was gone. I reached my hand out to him, took a single step but then Miss Edith led me down a different path where terrible tiger lilies tormented me with thorny teeth, tearing nasty holes into my pretty, pretty stockings. I hissed at them, seeking to stop their angry attacks but they turned their faces towards me and I saw that Angel’s face adorned each furious flower. As I rapidly retreated, racing away from the poisonous plants, Miss Edith announced that Angel, my fleet flown dear, was dancing at the Devil’s Masquerade: where the shiny short-lived lusted and sought significant, sexy sins; where we showed them they were nothing more than naughty before ending their short, sharp lives.

Spike, my courtly gentleman, took my arm as we started gliding across a river. “Spike, I’ve missed you. You were bad. You left me alone... alone with Angel.”

“I’d never leave you, pet. You know that.” He led me in a wicked, wandering waltz across a liquid lake. Fish fins flashed under the surface, tails twisted and turned in time to our delicious dance, creating wild waves that tripped under our tiptoes. Sirens sang softly on the shore, their mournful message that was hard to hear but became louder and louder until their terrible tune thundered around us. “The witch, the witch took Spike away.”

Spike stared sadly and said, “That’s not true. Willow didn't take me; I took her.” Fading from my sight, Spike shifted into smoke. Nonononono. I stumbled, slipped, and slid backwards and smacked into something beyond big. I turned to see a turtle shell, shiny and smooth, where, from an empty entrance, emerged its hidden head, which turned towards me and said, “If he loved you, he wouldn't have left.”

Not true. “Both my beautiful boys were whisked away by harrowing hags. My Angel returned. My Spike will too.”

The turtle’s voice echoed, echoed, echoed around me. “The witch’s curse will harm and hurt both you and Angelus. The tiger lilies will trap you with their terrible teeth, tearing and tormenting you until there’s nothing left.”

I trembled at his words, hearing the terrible truth in them but still I hoped to stop it. “I will kill the cruel crone. My Spike will hurry home and my Angel will be safe.”

The turtle said, in a quieter tone, “With or without the witch, the trouble cannot be thwarted. If you interfere, you kill Angel.” Fog rolled in, fast and furious. The turtle disappeared and I was glad for I didn’t like his dire discourse.

I saw my Angel again, in an alley, behind the club, where he’d wooed a woman into joining him. He was tormenting her with words, which became swords that pierced her soul. I wished he wanted me with him.

Even though it was bright enough that I could see and even though I knew my way home, I was lost in a darkness that drove me to a door, to a deceptive door. It was my door – door from my giggling girlhood, hurrying home door, my safe and secure door, but also not. I felt heartsick in a hostile hallway whose wicked walls were covered in the pretty paper patterns from when I was a curious child. Pretty pale pink green gold garden carpet I had played on. There was the stain from when Annabel, finally considered old enough to have tea with the adults, had spilled hers on the rug. She never became old enough but now they were back, my family, behind that closed door. Welcoming family only waited on a single knock.

I didn’t want them to see what I’d become.

I thought of my Angel. _I can warn them. I can protect them. I can save them._

“Bang,” declared a door down the hall. I jumped up to see a mean man, ogling and old, fetid and fat. “Hey,” he brayed, “shut those squalid brats.” His robe was untimely untied, obscenely open, and his fat belly folded out over his underwear. He didn’t belong here, not now. Nobody had dressed like that when I was a girl. “You don’t shut them up, I will,” he added. _Terrible threats multiply. I must protect my fragile family._

“Oh, they’ll be very quiet,” I told him. He continued to glare and I added, “Cross my heart and hope to die.” He made a rapid retreat behind the banging door and I was alone again.

Fondness flared, healing hope bloomed in my heart as I listened to hearts beat, beat, beating beyond the doorway. One adult, _mother_ my heart cried out, and countless children, one child closer to the door. Naked knock. Gentle girl answered, my dark haired darling. My sister once scared and lost and now finally found, safe and sound. “You look just like my sister, when she was your age. What’s your name?”

“Nancy.”

“Nancy, such a pretty name. Mine’s Drusilla and this is Miss Edith. She’s been especially good so I said she could go outside and play but there’s nobody to play with. May Miss Edith come in to play with you?” Nancy looked up shyly. “I promise she’ll be very good and we’ll all have tea and cakes.”

“OK,” said Nancy.

“You have to say, ‘come in,’” I told her.

“Miss Edith, please come in.” Nancy took my hand. My heart melted. I hadn’t seen my sister in so long. “We’re having a slumber party. You can sleep next to me.”

Gently, I pulled Nancy to me. “You are such a sweet, sweet child. You should thank me. I’ll make sure you’ll never know how cold and cruel the world can be.”

\---

Once upon a time Taylor, Aidan Nelson Taylor if you want to be formal, had been feared by demons the world over as he went about his mysterious business only it wasn't so mysterious in retrospect – he'd been trying to save his wife from the demon that had taken her over. He failed. Story is that she was released from the demon only to die in his arms, a big boohoo. Just goes to show how tragedy can ruin a man. He'd become a mere lackey of the Watcher's Council, running their errands for them, which included taking Willow to London to make contacts. Networking windbag-Price called it. Bloody waste of time that put my Willow in danger is what it really was.

He arrived at Lady M's shortly after dusk, which suited me just fine. I wanted to have a talk with him, uninterrupted like, and it would have been impossible during the day. He stepped out of his car, somewhat wary, because we'd never really gotten along, but also assured that I wasn't about to start anything. “Spike,” he said, calling me by my old name.

He thought I'd been domesticated when I got my soul back and it was time to do something about that. I hit him in the jaw. Gave him time to get up as I said, “If even one hair on Willow's head is hurt by this, I'll torture you for decades.”

He smiled as he wiped blood off his mouth. “You can try,” was all he said. Damn. A kid could have come up with a better threat than I had. Even though I'd had the soul back for some months now, it was too new; I hadn't found a balance between my old, unsouled, self and this being who cared, more than I could bloody well stand sometimes, that I'd become. I'd show him who'd been domesticated. We started circling each other, looking for weaknesses. Give him one thing: he could have pulled out a cross but he chose to give me a fair fight, which meant he did think I was weak. No way he'd survived as long as he had, against demons, by fighting fair. Even so, although he was human and old enough to be Willow's grandfather, he had damn few weaknesses that I could take advantage of. Before either of us could get in another punch, Lady M stormed out of her home.

“What is going on here?” It was February, and still cold in Devon, but even so her voice chilled the air.

“Lady Marjorie, how good to see you again,” Taylor charmed. “Spike here objects to my taking Willow to London.”

“That's William now, mate, as you well know,” I told him. He gave me a quick smirk in response. Point to him.

Lady M glanced between the two of us before turning to me. She spoke in a gentle voice. Bad sign. “I've just had a phone call from Wesley. You and Willow won't be traveling to London, at least not for your original purpose.” Even worse, anything that turned the Council from it's purpose was bound to be bad. As Taylor nodded his head in agreement, I realized the bastard had know things had changed and hadn't bothered to tell me. Oh, he and I were going to have “words” some time and place where we wouldn't be interrupted. Soon.

We followed Lady M back into the tea room, where Willow was waiting. “Have you heard?” she asked.

“Know something's up,” I said as I glared at Taylor, “but don't know any of the details.”

Willow gave me an uncertain half-smile before filling me in. “Angel and Drusilla,” she got my complete attention with that, “are attacking the Council. They've already taken out two of the Council's more elite squads.”

I turned towards Taylor to reply. “So, Dru and Angel took out some of your,” I paused and gave Taylor a wicked smile, just to let him know the slip was deliberate, “Excuse me, took out some of the Council's goons. Why should we care?” I took Willow's hand in mine to emphasize who “we” were.

“William,” Willow admonished. I smiled back unrepentant. She'd aligned herself with the Council, or with this specific faction within the Council as she'd say, and I understood why she'd done it but that didn't mean I liked it.

“There’s one thing I’m not quite clear on,” Lady M said to Taylor. “Why are Angelus and Drusilla attacking the Council, and why now?” Hadn’t thought of that myself and didn’t like it. Only reason for Angel to attack the Council directly was that he’d decided to torture and kill Willow himself. He didn't easily give up what he thought of as his. I put my arm around Willow and pulled her closer to me.

“Drusilla attacked and killed a group of children at a slumber party but that was just the excuse. As you know, Travers' faction has been gunning for Willow, Spike, Angelus, and Drusilla for almost half a year now,” Taylor replied.

 _Gunning? This guy’s seen too many bad American cop shows. Wait..._ “Excuse? Excuse for what?” I asked.

Taylor smiled at me, a smile as cold as any I’d ever seen on Angel’s face. Think I could have gotten along with Taylor, under different circumstances. Then he attacked, with words that would have chilled the very blood in my veins, if I’d had any. “The Council sent an elite squad to terminate Angelus and Drusilla in New York. They failed, obviously, and now Angelus and Drusilla are retaliating.”

“How do we stop the Council?” I blurted out before I started silently cursing myself. I wasn’t about to give up my human soul but, because I hadn’t learned to keep my poker face on around it yet, having the damned thing was like wearing my heart on my sleeve.

Taylor was about to respond when Lady M said, “I hadn’t heard anything...”

“It wasn’t a full Council decision. Travers' faction unilaterally decided to take the initiative and we knew nothing about it until Angelus and Drusilla were here in London to retaliate.” Turning back to me, he got back to his original point, “Drusilla massacred half a dozen children and you want to save her. Can’t say your human soul has changed you for the better.”

I was about to give back as good as I’d gotten when Willow squeezed my hand and I could see it on her face. She agreed with Taylor. She thought we should just sit back and let Dru be killed. “Willow’s done stuff just as bad and you saved her,” I said as I wrapped my hand around Willow’s. After a short struggle, she gave up trying to get her hand back and just sat beside me, looking dazed.

“The situations are not the same,” Lady M replied. _Well good, hate to think I had one person here on my side_. “Willow had been brainwashed,” she added.

“And Dru was turned,” I shouted.

“Into a vampire. A demon. A creature without a soul,” Taylor said.

“Only humans are worth saving? And when were you all planning to toss me onto the sacrificial altar?” I shouted to the room as I dropped Willow’s hand, raised myself up from the couch, and started pacing.

“William,” Lady M said in a reasonable tone, “the Council exists to kill demons. You can’t expect...”

“Not the Council I know,” I interrupted. “Everyone here in this room knows the Council is concerned with power and they’ll kill anyone, demon, human, or Slayer, who gets in their way.”

Taylor looked like he’d taken a punch to the gut, when I said the Council would kill the Slayer, which was the only response to my unadorned truth until Taylor came up with some truth of his own. “The Council will kill Angelus and Drusilla, with or without your help.”

 _With or without whose help?_ I wondered. What had Willow and Lady M talked about while I'd been waiting for Taylor? What had Willow agreed to do?

“Then why ask for our help?” Willow asked as she stood and started pacing, near the bay window, keeping away from me, not surprising after my earlier comment, but it hurt just the same. “The Council has access to other witches, not to mention two Slayers. Why come to us? Why even let us know what’s going on and take the chance we’ll interfere to help Angel and Drusilla?”

I looked over at her, still hurting and yet... _This is one of the many reasons I love you, pet._ I turned to Taylor. “A trap? Is that what this is? You trying to get us out from under the protection of the Devon coven...” _Wait. Doesn’t make sense. We were already about to head to London._

“No trap. Desperation,” Taylor addressed Willow. “You know Angelus better than anyone we have, your magic is exceptionally powerful, and you’re allied with the Devon Coven. If anyone can stop Angelus and Drusilla, it’s you”

“But why would Travers think that the full force of the Council couldn’t protect him? OK, they took out a couple of your squads but you must have safe houses.” Willow said.

Looking embarrassed, Taylor replied, “Travers is afraid they’ll attack and kill him before the Slayers arrive.”

Lady M must have seen, from our expressions, that the answer didn’t make sense to Willow and me because she explained. “After Faith Lehane, Wesley’s Slayer, underwent the Cruciamentum, she and Mr. Taylor broke into Mr. Travers’ home, into his bedroom to be exact, while he was sleeping, and stole an object from his nightstand.”

“It was returned the next day, with our most profound apologies and a very flimsy cover story to explain how it had come into our possession in the first place,” Taylor smiled, having apparently gotten over his embarrassment.

“So the Council head is feeling threatened because of you? Nicely done,” I smiled at Taylor. _Nice terror tactic. I really could get along with this guy_.

“Wesley mentioned the Cruciamentum but never explained...” Willow started.

Lady M looked agitated. “When Wesley became Miss Lehane’s Watcher, well, he was just out of Watcher training, very young and naive. Because her previous Watcher had just been killed, when she looked at Wesley and saw someone with no field experience, she insisted he have a trainer,” she glanced at Taylor as she said that last bit. “She was right and Wesley can see that now but back then...”

“We don’t have time for this,” Taylor interrupted. “Are you going help us with Angelus and Drusilla or not? Either way, I need to get back to London.”

I started thinking about demons I could call, demons that could get a warning to Angel. Not that I cared about Angel, of course, but the only way I could protect Dru was to warn him. But would Angel listen? Angel was likely to discount any warning that came from me but, on the other hand, Angel was awfully good at saving his own skin. Knowing how dangerous the Council was, he wouldn’t discount the threat, just because the warning came from me, so all I had to do was make sure he knew that if he didn’t save Dru all bets were off.

I was busy scheming, figuring out the best way to make a surreptitious phone call, when Willow spoke up. “There is another way.” Lady M’s look said she wished Willow hadn’t said that, so I guess she’d already been thinking along the same lines but had decided to keep it to herself. Fine with me. By then, I was ready to walk through Hell to save Dru. Three mere humans weren’t about to stop me.

“If the crucial issue is that Angel and Drusilla don’t have human souls, I can, um, take care of that,” Willow finished. We all stared at Willow as if she’d lost her senses.

Taylor broke the silence. “Human souls have nothing to do with it. The Council would have killed you if Wesley hadn't rescued you before they had the chance. All you’ll succeed in doing is making Angelus and Drusilla more vulnerable.”

Lady M got up and started pacing the room. Lady M. Pacing. Hadn’t happened in the history of Western Europe but it was happening now. Finally, she spoke. The words she addressed to Taylor made even less sense than Willow’s had. “If we do this, can you get them to safety?”

“Get them...? Have you gone mad?” Taylor asked.

“You, of all people, should understand. After fifteen years of trying to save...”

“That was personal,” Taylor interrupted. “This has nothing to do with me.”

“It’s personal to us,” Willow said, with a quick glance at me.

Taylor stood, turned away from us, and perused the bookshelf as he replied, “I’m very sorry for your loss, I’m sure, but the Council will never approve.”

“If Travers is as jumpy as you say, it looks like they don’t have a choice,” I snarked.

Lady M put a restraining hand on my arm. With steel in her voice, she replied to Taylor, “Have you thought about the Hubbard prophesies?”

Taylor spun around, with a dumbfounded look on his face. “You can’t believe...”

“That there’s an apocalypse coming? That the world can be saved only by two vampires with human souls?”

“We don’t know that an apocalypse is imminent and, even if it were, that it's the one prophesied in the Hubbard scrolls,” Taylor replied, his voice sounding uncertain to my ears. I didn’t know what these scrolls were but if this went right, there’d be three vampires with human souls in the world, not two. Kept that thought to myself. No need to give Taylor any more reasons than he already had to discount Lady M’s ideas.

“Think,” Lady M commanded. “You know Wesley believes that Powers are interfering in human affairs.”

“As much as I respect Wesley, his knowledge of the occult sciences, while exceptional for someone in his position, does not warrant taking an offhand comment of his and using it as the basis of a foolhardy scheme save the undead.”

“Don’t have any scheme yet, foolhardy or otherwise,” I said.

“I understand what you’re saying.” Lady M replied. “However, prophetic ability, an attunement to attainable futures, runs through his mother’s bloodline. Too many things are coming together: for the first time in a century the spell to restore a vampire’s soul has been performed, you found the Hubbard scrolls, you translated the prophesies. We all know a storm is brewing. You’ve seen the same reports I have: magical attacks are on the rise, Hellmouths are expanding, demon appearances increasing.” I gave Willow a what-the-Hell-is-she-talking-about? look and got same look back. Good to know I wasn’t the only one out of the loop.

“Something wicked this way comes?” Taylor replied in a tone of voice that wanted to sound snarky but instead sounded like he’d been reluctantly convinced.

\---

I’d just gotten off the phone with London, arranging to have some vamps meet us. Not that they were anyone I knew, or even trusted, but they had to be better than whatever Council goons Taylor, who was giving me a pointed look, wanting only his crew, was going to have there. As if I was going to trust Dru’s continued existence to a Council minion when, well at any time actually, but certainly not when the Council had already tried to kill her. Seeing I was done, Willow dragged me out into the garden. We’d be leaving for London as soon as Lady M finished setting up a place for Willow to perform the spell, wanting her out of the line of fire if anything went wrong.

“Nervous?” I asked as I glanced around the garden. There was enough light that Willow could get around without trouble which meant it was as clear as day to my sight. The garden, well laid out and taken care of, was more comfortable than formal. Willow had told me that a good number of the plants had magical properties. Wouldn't know much about that myself. I could identify your basic everyday flowers and that was about it; only other thing I knew about flowers were poetic metaphors but that kind of thing had never done me much good since I was a bloody awful poet while I was alive and nobody cared about that sort of thing anymore.

“A little,” Willow said in response to my question. She did look a bit panicky. “It’s not like I haven’t performed this spell before but the consequences if I fail... So,” she gave me a bright, fake smile and changed the topic, “What do you think of the prophecy?”

I kicked a rock. “You believe it?”

 

“She wasn’t making it up, if that’s what you’re asking. Mr. Taylor is erudite enough to catch any falsehood, especially concerning the occult,” she said.

Willow and I walked in silence a bit while I thought about the prophecy. Two vampires with human souls but if everything went right tonight there would be three. Was the extra supposed to be a spare? Dru and I would be together again, although saving the world would be a first for us. “Wonder if they’ll give us a ticker tape parade.” Willow raised an eyebrow. “For Dru and me, after we save the world. Think they have parades at night?”

“William,” Willow said tentatively. I grunted out some response, lost in thoughts of how it would be after Dru got her soul back. Angel would run off to feel guilty, just like last time, and Dru would be mine-all-mine again.

“William.” Willow grabbed my arm. Once she had my attention, she turned away from me and said, “If you want to be with Drusilla, after I, well after, I’ll understand.”

The world stopped around me. Willow thought I was leaving her for Dru? But wasn’t that what I’d just been thinking?

“Willow,” I whispered. She turned and her face fell at what she saw in mine: uncertainty, indecision. I grabbed her into a hug. I loved Willow, I didn’t want to lose her but Dru had been the center of my world for 125 years. I didn’t think I’d have to choose.

“Can’t do this now,” I said as I thrust Willow away. “I need to be alone.” I could see, in her eyes, that Willow thought my words meant I was choosing Dru.

“Will,” I said, as I stepped over to her and caressed her cheek with my thumb, “It’s not that. Really it’s not. I just can’t talk about this, I can’t even think about this, right now. Let’s just get this part taken care of and figure out the rest later.”

Willow slipped back into the house, head dropped forward, looking certain that I was about to abandon her, and I ran away, like a cowardly dog, into the garden. I’d said I couldn’t think about it but what else was I going to think about? I’d chosen Willow but Dru, with a soul, might be different. I stayed out there, by myself, until the driver came to tell me we were ready to leave. The four-hour drive back to London was endless, as silent as the grave, and full of daggers that pierced my heart.

\---

We gathered in an enclosed garden, down the street from where Angel had holed up, in one of London's innumerable row houses. His new home was a bit exposed for my tastes, but the white-collar, work 120-hour-a-week neighborhood did tend to mean neighbors would be too busy with their own lives to interfere with anything that wasn't outrageously blatant. Not my problem though. I'm sure Angel had his own way of dealing with nosy neighbors, if any, and once Willow's spell kicked in, it was windbag-Price's concern. Getting Dru to safety was enough for me to worry about.

We were two warring camps although only my side seemed to know it: I’d called in some favors and had about a half dozen vamps and demons. Windbag-Price had himself, Taylor, some ancient Oriental man who was the most unarmored person I’ve ever seen but it gave him the kind of flexibility that would have let him take on my entire crew without breaking into a sweat, and some kid whose blue eyes were striking against his dark skin. Didn't know what the kid was: not demon, not human, didn’t leave much he could be. I don't think the humans saw this but he glowed to vampire sight, which scared the living dickens out of me and my rented minions. Unfortunately they weren't as good as hiding their terror as I was.

I would have felt more confident if windbag-Price and his crew had looked even slightly concerned that we outnumbered them. This could be an elaborate ploy to kill three vampires, which would mean they had hidden accomplices but, if they did, the extra goons were hidden well enough that I couldn’t spot them. Still, if things went bad, all I had to do was let my demons distract the white hats until I got Dru to safety. I’d managed to convince Taylor that I should go in first, which should give me an edge if it came down to that.

Blue-eyes caught my gaze at one point. Could tell that he knew he was terrifying me and that he felt bad about it and I knew, don’t know how, that he could have toned it down. That’s when I realized his radiance was a weapon and that he’d tuned it specifically for vampires, which explained why he was set to be the first one in after me. I’d had time to get used to him and was still antsy. Almost any vampire that blue-eyes went after would flee, even into direct sunlight, to get away from him. Angel's minions didn't stand a chance and I could only hope my minions would hold up. I wondered what kind of contacts Taylor had that he could call on someone like that on such short notice and began to suspect that windbag-Price's crew was right to feel confident.

Taylor signaled. “William,” windbag-Price whispered as I moved out of concealment, openly walking towards the doorway. I was torn up inside, terrified Willow's Council “allies” would betray us and worried about Dru but I gave the Council lackeys a smile in response as I kept walking. I’d thought about stealthing in, like I was expected to and showing the white hats how it should be done, but a direct and open approach more suited my style. Plus, it got me to Dru all that more quickly.

As I opened the door, I heard screams from a back room. Dru. They weren’t good screams either but heart-wrenching, my-world-is-ending screams. My heart sank, hearing Dru in such torment, but they meant the spell had worked. As I raced towards the sound of the screams, minions faded before me, scrambling to get away, which meant blue-eyes had followed me in. Couldn’t be concerned about that now.

Dru was curled up on the floor, screaming and tearing her skin to shreds with her sharp fingernails. Angel just stood in the shadows. “Why don’t you help her, you wanker?” Hard to imagine that Dru’s screams could get worse but, as she saw Angel step out of the shadows, they did. I slid down, between Dru and Angel, grabbing her hands but her madness gave her a strength that allowed her to elude my grasp. She raised herself away from me, tearing at her skin as soon as she had a chance. A dart hit her and she collapsed, finally still and quiet. I leapt up into a defensive position.

“Tranquilizer,” windbag-Price said from the doorway as he aimed the gun to my right.

I glanced over to see that Angel had slipped into vamp-face. “Don’t think to try that on me, Watcher.”

“Is he safe?” windbag-Price asked me.

“Safe?” snarled Angel.

“He’s got his human soul back, if that’s what you’re asking,” I replied as I picked up Dru, wanting to get her out of this place before Travers' faction showed up to kill her. “Let’s go. No knowing how long your tranquilizer will keep her sedated, given her vampire metabolism.”

“Actually, we’ve done studies on captured vampires and...” he trailed off at the looks Angel and I were giving him. “Right. Sorry. We’ve got about three hours, more than enough time to restrain her.”

“Restrain her where?” Angel yelled as he grabbed windbag-Price and tried to drag him into the room. Windbag-Price went along with Angel’s pull, did something I didn’t quite follow with his feet, and Angel tripped to the floor.

Two of windbag-Price’s crew, Taylor and the Asian, followed him into the room, as did three of my demons who were so antsy they must have come in to get away from blue-eyes as much as, if not more than, to keep an eye on windbag-Price’s crew, which meant that my other minions had fled. No backup if things went bad, none at all. Damn.

“It’s all right,” windbag-Price told his crew. “I’d like to have a private conversation with these two gentlemen. If you’ll wait in the next room, we’ll join you shortly.”

Figuring Taylor's crew could keep Travers' goons at bay, if they did show up, I nodded to my demons and said, “All of you wait outside.” At windbag-Price’s look, I added, “You really want this talk to be private? Cause my vamps will be able to hear us from the next room and I’m guessing blue-eyes will as well.” Windbag-Price nodded to his team, which left the four of us alone in the room, well three since Dru was unconscious.

“I need to talk to Spike,” Angel said. When windbag-Price didn’t leave, Angel added, “Private conversation. You. Outside. Now.”

“No,” windbag-Price replied. “You two can talk after Drusilla has been secured. In her madness, she’s a threat to anyone she runs across.” I knew he meant he didn’t trust us not to run off with Dru if he left us alone and he was right; if I'd had time to prepare a place for her, I never would have taken her to the supposed safety Taylor had provided. Seeing we weren’t impressed, windbag-Price added, “She’s a threat, not only to you, but to herself as well. You can’t control her. You can’t keep her safe. We can.” I nodded. Watcher was right. I didn’t like it though and I didn’t like that they’d had restraints prepared ahead of time for Dru, for Angel, and, most likely, for me as well.

When you’ve known someone as long as I’ve known Angel, you can express more with a glance than strangers can share in an hour. Angel’s expression told me he’d reached the same conclusions I had and that he didn’t trust windbag-Price any more than I did. It also said that he didn’t trust me. “What did you do?” Angel whispered.

“What’s it look like?” I replied.

“Human souls. How could you have done that to Drusilla? She was mad before she was turned. With everything she’s done since then...” he trailed off. Angel didn’t have to explain. We both knew the terror, the torment, and the literal desire for lunacy that the human soul felt recalling vampire memories.

“Either this or let the Council kill you,” I offered.

Angel gently took Dru’s hand. _My sleeping siren_ , I thought. Keeping his eyes on Dru, Angel said, “Death would have been better.”

I didn’t know if he meant just for Dru or for the both of them.


	2. Chapter 2

We were supposed to be in a hospital but all I could sense, underneath the scrubbed-down antiseptic scent that pervaded the building, was death. Willow, Angel, and I tiptoed around Dru's madness so that she was the only living thing in that cold, harsh place. Dru, strapped to a bed so she could barely move, reminded me, briefly and in a melancholy way, of all the times she’d asked Angel or me to tie her down and punish her. That wasn’t even close to this. Over the course of the week, she’d grown resistant to a good number of the drugs they’d used to sedate her and had escaped her restraints twice. The last time she'd escaped, Willow had cast a restraining spell on Dru until she'd been drugged up again. Dru couldn't even move but she'd done enough damage, before Willow had been able to restrain her, that her blood had been spurting all over the place while I tried to hold it back with my bare hands. Don’t know what Dru had been thinking, if she’d been thinking at all, that is, since it wasn’t like she could kill herself that way, not unless she’d been trying to decapitate herself. Decapitation. Bloody hell. I stared at her, through the looking glass, until I was certain. She had been trying to tear through her own neck with her bare hands. I jerked my head away, turning from the sight of her, in a vain attempt to get the thought out of my head.

She just kept getting worse.

Willow stepped into the room with a couple of mugs of blood. She'd been withdrawn from me emotionally ever since our scene in the garden but I couldn't worry about that. Dru needed me more than Willow did so I let it be, knowing I'd pay for it later. Angel took one of the mugs and drank it down, not even making a face at the taste. I shook my head but Willow pressed the remaining mug into my hands saying, “Drink it. You need to keep your strength up if you're going to be of any use to Drusilla.” Willow knew me like nobody else did; that was the only thing that would have gotten me to drink that vile pig's blood when I felt like I never wanted to feed again.

“Not like you can go in there before the sedative kicks in,” Angel added. Not sure if any of the help that Angel offered me was to impress Willow or if he was assuaging his guilt because he couldn't help Dru.

Dru had become... I shook my head, trying to drive out thoughts of what she’d become but I couldn’t stop thinking about it. Her pain had driven her beyond her humanity, transformed her into an animal trying to escape the only way it knew how, through death. When she saw Angel though, she was worse. Her fear and rage made her frenzied... I couldn't begin to describe it. Her only respite from madness, death longing, and self-destruction was sedation, which was becoming less and less effective.

“So why can't you just witch up a cure?” I asked Willow.

Angel sighed. “Spike...”

“William,” I whispered in response.

With an exaggerated, “William,” Angel tried again. “Willow's explained a dozen times.”

“Well I want to hear it again,” I said, no louder than before.

“It won't suddenly change her answer,” Angel said but then Willow laid a hand on his arm. Their eyes met.

“The brain is too complex,” Willow said as she turned towards me. “There's no known spell to cure madness.”

“So invent one,” I replied.

She like she wanted to walk over and comfort me but Willow could always read me, better than anyone. She stayed where she was. “Magic and medicine just don't mix.”

There was a finality in Willow's tone. I know she would have helped Dru if she could but she knew it was impossible. I finished the blood as I watched the sedative kick in. If I wanted to talk to Dru, now was the time. Angel and Willow watched from behind the glass.

“Dru? Pet?” I asked, gently.

“Spike?” I hid a grimace. I hadn’t explained William to her and shouldn’t have been disappointed to hear her using my old name.

“Yes luv, it’s me. It’s your Spike,” I replied.

“Spike,” a tear rolled down her cheek. “Spike you’ve got to help me,” she said with an intense expression on her face.

“What do you need luv?” I asked.

“It’s Miss Edith, she needs a band-aid,” she said even though her dolls were nowhere to be seen. I didn't know if they'd been left behind in New York or abandoned in the row house we'd pulled Dru and Angel out of. Didn't matter since Dru didn't seem to notice they weren't around or maybe she did see them, little ghost dolls angry at their abandonment.

“It’s OK, luv. I’ll take care of it. I’ll get her Morticia.” We’d found Addams family band-aids at a Goth club one evening and Dru only ever-wanted Morticia band-aids after that.

“I need help,” she said as tears welled in her eyes. “There’s evil, Spike, evil inside of me. Do you remember? The time I killed a puppy and then painted that little boy with it’s blood and gore? I did that. Me.”

“No, Dru, it wasn’t you. You weren’t yourself; you were... gone. But you’re back now and you can get better.” I replied.

“But I remember it, vividly. I can still feel and smell the blood on my hands and taste the boy’s terror and then the taste of his blood itself,” she said.

“That was the demon, Dru. You have your human soul again. You don’t have to be the demon anymore,” I answered.

“Spike,” she said as she gave me a pitying look. “The demon’s right in here, inside me, right next to my soul but I’ll kill it, as soon as I escape.” She started straining against her restraints.

 _As soon as she?_ And then I realized what she meant. “Dru. No.” I laid myself on top of her so she couldn’t move. “No, you can’t kill yourself.”

“It’s the only way to kill the demon beast,” she whispered in response.

Desperate, I pulled out my last card, a low blow to be sure but I didn’t care as long as I saved her. “You can’t Dru. It’s a sin. Church says so.”

I heard Angel hiss at that from the other room and, unfortunately, Dru did too, bucking up so violently that I couldn’t restrain her. Knowing Angel had run for a second sedative, I held her down, as best I could with my body, as she screamed. “Impure. Evil. Maggots and spiders crawling under my skin. I can’t get them out, I can’t get them out, I can’t...” She started shrieking.

After the second sedative had knocked Dru out, Angel slammed me against the wall. “Her lucid times are getting shorter. How much longer are you going to keep this up?” He was right. I wanted to make Dru better but didn’t know how and time was running out. She was determined to kill herself. I knew she’d succeed and soon.

Angel had been trying to get me to talk to the doctor but I didn’t want to hear what any quack had to say about my Dru. Looked like I was out of options. “Let’s talk to the doc.”

Doc saw us right away. Taylor had made sure it would go that way. Taylor had arranged everything: a doctor who could handle vampires, special treatment from said doc, blood. Only thing he couldn’t provide was a cure for Dru. The doc spouted a bunch of medicalese at us, rambling on for a good long while. I started to light a cigarette and the doc stopped to glare at me. Since we needed his help I put it away. After the doc stopped, I glanced over to Willow who translated. Her voice was flat and emotionless as she said, “He can chemically remove parts of her brain to make Drusilla more controllable.”

I leapt out of my chair, grabbed the doc so his face was inches away from mine, and vamped out. “You want to turn Dru into a zombie?” I yelled. He started babbling more medicalese at me. I growled.

His face got white and he said, “It’s the only way to keep her from killing herself.”

“No, it’s not.” I stormed out. Angel, having already come to terms with this necessity, remained behind to make sure the doc didn’t interfere.

As Willow caught up with me, she asked, “What are you going to do?”

“The only thing I can do.”

Angel caught up to us before we'd gotten back to Dru.

“Who's keeping an eye on the doc?” I asked.

“He won't interfere,” Angel replied. I never did find out how Angel convinced the doc but I didn't doubt he had since Angel could always be a right scary bastard when he had a mind to.

Willow gestured towards an empty waiting room. “We should talk where Drusilla can't hear us.”

The room had plenty of places to sit – two couches and a good number of chairs, that looked plush, comfortable, and were all decked out in a generic floral pattern that was out of place given what we were about to talk about – but none of us bothered to take a seat. As he closed the door behind us, Angel said, “Get Taylor to bring the angel back.” I looked to Willow whose face was wearing a what-the? expression. Glad to know I wasn't the only one who didn't know what was going on, I turned back to Angel, who added, “The angel. Protecting the front room when Willow resouled us. Big glowing sword.”

“He was an angel?” I asked. Hadn't known what he was but, well, angels just didn't interfere.

Since Dru and Angel's resouling, I'd been too worried about Dru to fill Willow in on how the rescue had gone down on our end, so she had no idea who Angel was talking about. I was about to explain but then I didn't need to because blue-eyes himself joined us, strolling right into the room as if he owned it.

“Well, well. Speak of the devil,” I said to ease the tension. My life just kept getting more and more interesting: first the Council and now angels. Next thing you know, I'd be playing around with gods although if you count the House of the Catmaster, I already had.

“Willow,” he said as he took her hand and kissed it. Said my name next, my human name that is although I'm sure he knew exactly who I was, possibly even better than I did myself. With a wry smile, he finished letting us know that he knew who were were by saying, “Angel,” before introducing himself. “You can call me Andy.”

“Andy the angel?” I smiled insincerely.

“Anael but please don't call me that,” he replied, “and I'm closer to a bodhisattva than an angel although neither term is completely accurate.”

Willow must have sensed I didn't know the term because she explained it. “A bodhisattva is person who's attained enlightenment but delays entering nirvana, out of compassion, to help others.”

“You gave up heaven for us?” I snarked. I wasn't as on edge around him as I'd been earlier but I still didn't like his being there.

“It's not like that,” he replied. “When a person transcends, reaches the next phase of existence, it's just part of what we do. There's no good word for it in any human tongue. It's our duty, joy, responsibility, love.”

“I thought angels didn't interfere,” Angel said. Why'd you want him here if he couldn't interfere? I wondered.

Andy rolled his eyes. “We have our own lives to lead, much like Buffy did when she was the Slayer.” Angel looked upset when Andy mentioned Buffy, as he should have since he'd been the one to kill her, with a little help from Willow. I noticed that Andy looked chagrined when he realized he'd upset Willow although he didn't seem to mind Angel's anguish. He did shift the subject a bit though. “We do try to help but there are limits to our actions.”

“But you were there when Angel and Drusilla were resouled? Because Taylor asked you to help? Wasn't that interfering?” Willow asked.

Andy looked abashed. “Taylor didn't ask for my help. I volunteered.”

“Why?” Angel asked. Damn it. Didn't these two remember we were here for Dru? Couldn't we just get rid of this guy and get on with it?

It was Willow who responded. “The prophecy.”

Andy agreed. “Angel was vulnerable. It would have been the most effective time for the forces who want to stop the fulfillment of the prophecy to attack.”

“And you're here now because...” I asked.

“He's here to help Dru,” Angel replied.

“You can help her? How?” Hope flared in my heart as I leaned in towards the angel.

“How can you help her?” Andy asked gently.

“House of the Catmaster,” I said with a sudden inspiration. “Should have taken her right away. We can keep her drugged on the way, just like I did with Willow.”

“It won't work,” Willow said with certainty. “I wanted to live but didn't see a way I could with the pain. Drusilla wants to die. She won't fight for her life.”

I didn't want to be convinced by Willow's words, but even back when I'd taken her there for healing, I'd know it was chancy at best. “Right,” I said to the angel, slumping back against the wall. “Wave your magic wand then. Fix Dru up.”

“William. If gods can't help her...” He didn't finish his response.

“So you can't save her any more than I can. Fine. Sayonara. Bye bye. Don't let the door hit you on your way out.”

“William,” Angel growled.

“It's my fault. I'm not explaining myself well,” Andy said to Angel before turning back to me. “How do you feel?”

All of a sudden, I felt good, really good. Ecstatic even. That dinky little room became the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen – it's pastel colors had been transformed into gems that shone with a pure, vibrant light. Hell, I was even glad Angel was there. From the bottom of my stubborn soul, I pulled out words. “Stop it.”

The room was back to normal. “No,” I said, “you are not doing that to Dru.”

“It wouldn't have to be that intense,” Andy replied.

“No.”

He looked frustrated at my stubbornness but got to say this for Andy, he played by the rules. I'm sure he had some sort of short-cut way to convince me but he didn't try to use it.

“William,” Angel growled. “You want what's best for Dru?”

All the arguments I'd been building up dropped to the floor and shattered at my feet. “Fine,” I replied, “but no messing with her head.”

Turning to Andy, Angel said, “After you do this we'll,” he reconsidered what he was about to say, “I'll be in your debt.”

“I'm not doing this for you,” Andy said. He turned to face Dru, as if he could see her through the walls and whispered, “I'm doing this for her.”

\---

Andy wanted to be alone when he met Dru but I, remembering how terrifying he'd been the first time I'd met him, put my foot down. Dru was in bad enough shape. Seems that wasn't a problem though.

“Annie? Is it really you?” Dru asked. Annie? I thought.

Andy smiled at Dru. It was one of the most intimate smiles I've ever seen, full of love and shared past. How did Dru know the angel? She trusted him. I could see that right off the bat. She trusted him like she didn't trust anybody else, more than she trusted me even. I glared at Andy, who didn't even seem to notice me. What the hell was going on?

I wanted to give Andy what for but Dru was smiling and calm for the first time since she'd been resouled. I could bide my time so I helped Andy undo the restraints that held Dru down and she threw herself into his arms. They hugged. They hugged some more. I rolled my eyes, tapped my foot, coughed. “Hello,” with a little wave. I may as well have not been in the room.

Then Dru started to cry, racking sobs. I started to reach out to comfort her but she didn't need me, did she? She had Andy. What was I compared to an angel? I looked around the room a bit, trying to find something that would make it seem like I had a reason to stay. “Right, I'll just be going then.”

“But I killed you,” Dru cried as I started to head out the door. I stopped and looked back.

“Never,” Andy replied, glancing towards the observation window. I heard a hiss from Angel but luckily Dru was too distracted to pick up on it.

“I remember killing you. You were a,” Dru got a confused look on her face and I left, heading for the observation room where I wouldn't have to see myself being ignored by my lost love. “A little girl, you were a little girl. That couldn't have been you?” she ended tentatively.

“No,” Andy replied, “that wasn't me.” I walked into the observation room to see Andy gently brushing Dru's hair away from her face.

“William,” Willow said, rushing over to me. “Are you OK?”

I flinched away from her and turned my attention towards the window. “I'm fine,” I said through clenched teeth.

“It was the demon inside of you,” Andy was saying. “It wasn't you.”

“But I remember,” Dru replied.

“I know,” Andy said, hugging Dru close to him, as tears fell from his eyes. “I know, love.”

Dru started crying again, but more quietly this time, and then she started speaking. She told Andy everything, starting with first seeing Angel and Darla and knowing they were bad news right off the bat, bright girl she was. Details of Angel torturing and killing her family.

She stopped and looked up at Andy, certainty on her brow. “He killed you. Angel did.”

Andy kissed her on her forehead. “The demon killed me. Not Angel. Not you.”

“But he remembers, just like I remember what I, what my demon, did?” she asked.

“Yes,” Andy replied.

“How can he stand it?” she sobbed onto his shoulder. I looked over towards Angel, who was trembling, with a smirk on my lips. This was why Dru was mine and not his, never again his. Almost looked like he was about to fly apart but then Willow laid a hand on his back, whispered something I couldn't hear, and led him out of the room. It was the first time they'd been alone since Angel had gotten his soul back and I would have given almost anything to know what they talked about but I wasn't about to abandon Dru, even if she didn't know I was listening in.

After she'd sobbed a bit, Dru got back to speaking, telling the angel every terrible thing she'd done as a demon. Purging her soul. It was hard, hearing what she felt bad about, especially when it related to me. Harder still, it reminded me of my own guilt, of what I'd done. Easier on the human soul, at least on mine, to ignore that kind of stuff and dredging it all back up well, it was difficult, but at the same time cathartic. Had the big emotional revelation, quietly though because this was about Dru and I wasn't about to interrupt that. Found a balance I hadn't even realized I'd been missing and figured out why Willow had left me, why she'd had to leave me behind, after the House of the Catmaster.

I didn't notice when Willow and Angel came back; they were just there and I knew they'd been back for a while. Willow was crying and Angel was taking his turn comforting her. Nobody put their arms around me. Bugger that, I thought as I wiped my eyes, not like I needed comforting. I distracted myself by wondering who Willow was crying for. She'd already had her own dark night of the soul so, while it might have been herself, I figured she was taking on somebody else's pain. Could have been Dru; they did have a love-hate relationship, almost like real sisters if it came down to that. Could have been Angel, although I rather hoped not. I knew that Willow had thought I would abandon her for Dru, not without reason, but she never realized that I was afraid she'd leave me for Angel. Did my best to keep that to myself since I didn't want to give her any ideas.

Eventually Dru cried herself out and relaxed into Andy's arms. By then Willow had fallen asleep with her head resting on Angel's lap. Angel, with an arm resting protectively over Willow, caught my eyes and I felt like I was intruding so I tiptoed back into the other room figuring I had more right to be with to Dru than Andy did but once again their closeness blocked me out. It meant I was there to hear their whispered conversation though.

“I can't stand it Annie,” Dru said.

“Shhh,” Andy said, petting Dru across the brow. “I know dearest, that's why I'm here. Sun will rise in about an hour.”

“So long a wait?”

“It won't seem that long. You're a mess,” he said, wiping her face with his fingers before standing and helping Dru off the floor. I sank back into the shadows although I don't know why since I was certain Dru would know I was there, if she cared to that is. “Why don't you take a shower and we'll dress you up really pretty beforehand.”

Dru looked down at the hospital gown she had on. “I'll never look pretty in this ugly thing.”

“You always look beautiful but,” with a flourish of his hand, he was holding a dress: white, pretty enough I suppose but Dru went all ecstatic over it.

“Oh, Annie. That's my dream dress, the dress I always, always wanted to wear.”

“You can wear it today,” Andy replied.

“And will you do my hair?” Dru asked.

“Just the way you like it,” Andy said. “Shower now?”

That's when I stepped out of the shadows. Knew it was a mistake as soon as I'd done it but by then it was too late. Something shifted between them and I had no idea what to say. “Um, need any help? With the shower and all.”

Dru looked stricken. I felt bad, knowing I was the one who'd brought that expression to her face. “It's wrong, like the spiders crawling under my skin.” At first I thought she meant that I was wrong but then she went on a bit, until Andy's comforting set in, and I realized that, to this Dru, when she and I had made love, we'd soiled her body. I figured out later than she hadn't mean it that way but it had sounded like loving me, not the physical act of love but the emotional feeling of love, had been evil, a sin, something she regretted.

I turned my back while Andy got her calmed down and sent off to the shower. Once I knew that Dru was safely distracted, I threw all the anger I'd been building up that evening directly at the angel. “Annie? I told you, no messing with her mind,” I shouted.

“I'm not,” Andy replied. At my look of rage, he said it again, more emphatically, “I'm not,” before adding, “Dru can see things you can't. She sees me as Andy but she sees I'm somebody else as well.”

“Somebody she trusts implicitly. How convenient for you,” I snarled.

“It's not like that,” Andy defended himself.

“Who does she think you are?” I raged.

“It's who I am.” As soon as he said that, Andy looked like he regretted the statement. Good. We were getting somewhere.

“Who are you then? Not Andy, not the angel or bodhisattva or whatever. Who are you to Dru?”

He turned away and stormed across the small room to the observation window. I figured he could see in, if he wanted to, and that something was passing between him and Angel. Well, fuck that. Everybody else's needs had been filled that evening. It was my turn. I slammed him, from behind, into the mirror. As he turned towards me, I got in a few good kicks and punches, which hardly fazed him, until he threw me into the wall. With a quick glance back into the observation room, Andy shouted, “Her sister, all right? I was her sister.”

I had just started to get up but that statement sent me staggering back into the wall. Sister. Bodhisattva, angel. Reincarnation, that's what Willow had been talking about earlier. “One of the one's Angel killed.”

Andy didn't look back towards the observation room as he agreed.

“That's why you're here, to take her back to Heaven with you,” I surmised

“No,” he disagreed. “If Angel hadn't interfered, she would have ascended, transcended... she would have become akin to what I am now but, with all she's been through, her soul has been too wounded. Dru will go to a place where her soul can heal and, when she's ready, she'll return, be reborn.”

“So what difference does your being here make then?” I asked.

“To make her transition easier. Isn't that enough?” Didn't know angels could cry. Interesting. I just stared at him, waiting for it and finally he gave it up. “It's possible she may need fewer reincarnations into physical form before she ascends if I'm here to help her now.”

“And what will you be doing with her then?” I leered.

“Sisters. We are sisters, remember?”

“I'm her Childe. It's not like we were never... intimate,” I added with a salacious grin enjoying the fact that I was finally the one unsettling the angel, rather than the other way around.

Then a trumpet sounded and a flaming sword was coming at my head. I ducked it, barely avoiding decapitation.

“No,” Andy cried out as he rushed between me and the sword. Then he started talking to it. Was certainly my night to be ignored: Dru with Andy, Willow with Angel, and now Andy with a bloody flaming sword.

“I will handle it,” he continued. Trumpets sounded again, discordant against the silence.

“Why do you both think that I? With my sister.” Andy shouted, leaning in towards the sword before he leaned back with a look of amazement on his face. “You're jealous,” he said to the sword. Turning towards me he added, “You're both jealous.”

The trumpet sounded again, uncertainty clear in its tone. Jealous, I wondered. The angel was right. Dru had been mine and mine alone for so long that I didn't like her having any other connections. Didn't matter who with. Or what kind.

When I looked up from this thought, the sword had disappeared, and Willow and Angel were stepping into the room. Angel, looking like he was about to deck Andy, said, “When this is done, I never want to see you again.”

My mind was reeling, as full of nonsense as ever Dru's had been. That's what you get Angel, for inviting an angel into your life, although you didn't, did you? He just sort of invited himself.

“The feeling's mutual,” Andy replied. Willow took me into her arms while Andy told Angel how it was going to go down.

\---

There was an enclosed garden attached to the hospital; we waited in a room just off of it. Angel, afraid he'd set Dru off again, slipped into the shadows. Willow went with him. I wasn't sure why she joined him – if she was afraid her presence might set off Dru or if she'd joined Angel to comfort him – but it left me alone again.

Alone in the silence.

Willow's soft breaths, emerging from the shadows, my only company.

We didn't have to wait long. As she and Andy entered the room, Dru's eyes were drawn to the sunshine, just past the open doorway, like a moth was drawn to a flame. She walked past as if she didn't even see me standing there. I tried not to let that hurt.

“Walk into the light, Dru,” Andy said, letting go of her hand.

Dru walked into the shadowed foyer that led into the garden. Without looking back, she said in her sweet, sweet voice, “I'll miss you, Spike.” I was too choked up to respond. I hoped she understood that, that she didn't think my lack of response meant I didn't love her.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Angel step out of hiding. Sensitive, selfish bastard had waited until Dru couldn't see him to make his big scene. He looked as if he were about to call her back but instead crumbled silently to the ground, allowing Willow to comfort him.

Dru stepped in the sunlight. She stood a little taller and relaxed a bit more, as if enjoying the warmth on her skin. She turned around to face me, the madness gone from her eyes. I'd never seen her look so happy, so human.

“Dru,” I shouted as I stepped forward, reaching my hand out to her. Ashes dusted my fingers. I pulled my hand out of the burning sunshine.

\---

In a dark, abandoned building, an old doll fell over.


End file.
